I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
