Porn is love you can see.
I cannot find my penis.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
