called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
