so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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