I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
