I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
