i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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