is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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