if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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