Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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