i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
