just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
