i jhust puked up my retainher.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
