Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
