so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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