Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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