I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
