my mouth tastes like poor choices
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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