You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize