its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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