I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
