Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
