Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
