There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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