just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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