Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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