all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
