no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize