Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
