dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
