MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
