Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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