check it out our google latitudes are spooning
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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