Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
