Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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