Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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