I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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