Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
