New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
