Duck Duck Cougar?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
