The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
