LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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