you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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