So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
