Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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