; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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