If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
