Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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