remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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