so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize