I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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