My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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