College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
