Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
