Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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