I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
