i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
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Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
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He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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