help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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