So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
