Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
