You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
