Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
