i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
