I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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