I hate all girls vehemently.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
