Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize