I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
