he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
