I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
