Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
